5 Ways to Lose Friends and Alienate Family

by Alli

A few days ago I was playing my favorite card game, cut-throat Bridge, with my family. ย My 8 and 10-year-old grandsons are sharks when it comes to cards. Should I be concerned or try to get them a place at the table in the underground poker club?

As we were playing, my daughter, Caitlin, and I started making jokes about how intense and competitive card games can be. Then she made the following statement:

[Tweet “If you don’t lose friends while playing cards, you’re not playing hard enough!”]

She said it jokingly (I think) and then we kept expanding on that thought, while laughing hysterically. ย We then took it to the next level and made a list entitled 5 Ways to Lose Friends and Alienate Family. ย The list, of course, became a blog post. ย That’s what I do. ย I can and will turn everything into a post.

Helpful Hint: ย Most, if not all, of my posts are written tongue-in-cheek and with a big, slightly twisted, dose of humor.

Here ya go!

5 Ways to Lose Friends

1. ย Be an Old (or young) Grouch

No one wants to be around someone who is grouchy all the time! ย So go ahead and complain, sulk, snarl and be an all around mean person. ย Don’t greet your guests or family when they walk in the front door. ย Just keep on sulking!

Just don’t complain when you lose all of your friends and the family stops coming around. ย Just sit all alone this holiday season and watch reruns of The Grinch Who Stole Christmas. ย Take lots of notes.

2. ย Be a Drama Queen/King

My grandpa used to say, “Stop making a mountain out of a molehill!” ย Basically, it’s the same thing as saying, “Don’t be a drama queen.”

Some people aren’t happy unless they’re causing drama 24/7. ย I sure wish Facebook would add a dislike button. ย But, then, I guess I’d lose friends and alienate family! ย Doesn’t everyone have at least one “friend” on Facebook who lives in a state of drama? ย I think it’s a requirement!

The sky is falling! ย The sky is falling! ย Not really. ย That’s just me being dramatic.

3. ย Brag. ย A lot. ย About everything.

My mom would have broken a switch from the nearest switch tree and switched my legs good if she had ever heard me brag or talk about how much something cost. ย Back then, in the south, it was taboo to talk about money, politics, etc. ย Times, they are a changing.

4. ย Lie. ย Constantly.

Some people are habitual liars. ย They lie so much and so often that they begin to believe the lies themselves. ย The problem? ย You and everyone else knows they are lying. ย The real problem? ย They know that you know they’re lying and they don’t care!

Which brings us to another point. ย Do you call them on it? ย Sometimes, in my mind, I’ve said, “Hey, you! ย You’re lying. ย It never happened. ย It’s all in your mind. ย Everyone knows you’re a liar. ย And they all talk about it behind your back. ย So stop it! ย Right now.”

5. ย Wear a perpetual frown!

People tend to frown when they’re stressed out, angry, or disturbed. ย Some folks have frowned for so long that they don’t even realize they look like an old sour puss! ย (Another saying from dear old gramps)

Do you know someone that’s always frowning? ย Does it draw you to that person or cause you to run and hide in the next aisle at Walmart while praying they don’t come your way?

[Tweet “Abraham Lincoln said, “Every man over 40 is responsible for his face.””]

I’ve heard that frowning causes wrinkles. ย I’ll never frown again. ย I try to keep my face neutral. ย Neutral equals no wrinkles. ย I remember hearing an elementary teacher say, “Turn that frown upside down!” ย Good advise!

There you have it – 5 ways to lose friends and alienate family. ย I could have gone with 10, but people tend to stop reading and start major scanning after 5.

While we’re on the subject, did you miss my Mother-In-Law Vs. Daughter-In-Law post?

Care to add to my list? ย Pretty please?