A few days ago I was playing my favorite card game, cut-throat Bridge, with my family. My 8 and 10-year-old grandsons are sharks when it comes to cards. Should I be concerned or try to get them a place at the table in the underground poker club?
As we were playing, my daughter, Caitlin, and I started making jokes about how intense and competitive card games can be. Then she made the following statement:
[Tweet “If you don’t lose friends while playing cards, you’re not playing hard enough!”]
She said it jokingly (I think) and then we kept expanding on that thought, while laughing hysterically. We then took it to the next level and made a list entitled 5 Ways to Lose Friends and Alienate Family. The list, of course, became a blog post. That’s what I do. I can and will turn everything into a post.
Helpful Hint: Most, if not all, of my posts are written tongue-in-cheek and with a big, slightly twisted, dose of humor.
Here ya go!
1. Be an Old (or young) Grouch
No one wants to be around someone who is grouchy all the time! So go ahead and complain, sulk, snarl and be an all around mean person. Don’t greet your guests or family when they walk in the front door. Just keep on sulking!
Just don’t complain when you lose all of your friends and the family stops coming around. Just sit all alone this holiday season and watch reruns of The Grinch Who Stole Christmas. Take lots of notes.
2. Be a Drama Queen/King
My grandpa used to say, “Stop making a mountain out of a molehill!” Basically, it’s the same thing as saying, “Don’t be a drama queen.”
Some people aren’t happy unless they’re causing drama 24/7. I sure wish Facebook would add a dislike button. But, then, I guess I’d lose friends and alienate family! Doesn’t everyone have at least one “friend” on Facebook who lives in a state of drama? I think it’s a requirement!
The sky is falling! The sky is falling! Not really. That’s just me being dramatic.
3. Brag. A lot. About everything.
My mom would have broken a switch from the nearest switch tree and switched my legs good if she had ever heard me brag or talk about how much something cost. Back then, in the south, it was taboo to talk about money, politics, etc. Times, they are a changing.
4. Lie. Constantly.
Some people are habitual liars. They lie so much and so often that they begin to believe the lies themselves. The problem? You and everyone else knows they are lying. The real problem? They know that you know they’re lying and they don’t care!
Which brings us to another point. Do you call them on it? Sometimes, in my mind, I’ve said, “Hey, you! You’re lying. It never happened. It’s all in your mind. Everyone knows you’re a liar. And they all talk about it behind your back. So stop it! Right now.”
5. Wear a perpetual frown!
People tend to frown when they’re stressed out, angry, or disturbed. Some folks have frowned for so long that they don’t even realize they look like an old sour puss! (Another saying from dear old gramps)
Do you know someone that’s always frowning? Does it draw you to that person or cause you to run and hide in the next aisle at Walmart while praying they don’t come your way?
[Tweet “Abraham Lincoln said, “Every man over 40 is responsible for his face.””]
I’ve heard that frowning causes wrinkles. I’ll never frown again. I try to keep my face neutral. Neutral equals no wrinkles. I remember hearing an elementary teacher say, “Turn that frown upside down!” Good advise!
There you have it – 5 ways to lose friends and alienate family. I could have gone with 10, but people tend to stop reading and start major scanning after 5.
While we’re on the subject, did you miss my Mother-In-Law Vs. Daughter-In-Law post?
Care to add to my list? Pretty please?