How to Break Up With Your Hairstylist

by Alli

I recently interviewed Ashley, my hairstylist, to get the scoop on how to break up with your hairstylist. No, we’re not breaking up. I just thought it would be a good idea to get a point of view from an actual hairstylist.  

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So, while I was being foiled, highlighted and lowlighted, I asked a few questions leading up to the tough one.

Ashley is my hairstylist. She’s awesome! The hair salon where she works was named one of the top 100 hair salons in the USA by Elle magazine. I totally agree.

How to Break up With Your Hair Stylist

I asked Ashley a few questions, including how to break up with your hairstylist, and she handled them like a pro! 

What hairstyles, colors, etc. are trending for spring and summer?

Some of my clients are going lighter and shorter for spring and summer. Long bobs (especially the Jennifer Anniston bob) and beachy curls are really hot right now.

How to break up with your hairstylist - beach waves

Speaking of trends, how often do you attend continuing education workshops?

At least 3 times a year.

What in-home tips do you have for keeping color-treated hair healthy and looking good?

If at all possible, don’t wash your hair every day and use salon products. You can buy products in the grocery store that look the same as salon products, but they are probably not the real deal.

Always use leave-ins that protect against sun damage and fading. Also, thermal protectants are a must before using a hairdryer or flat iron.

How often should we get a trim?

If you’re letting your hair grow out, never go past 12 weeks. To maintain a style, you should get a shapeup every 4-6 weeks.

Girl with short blonde hair getting a trim at hairstylist

What’s your favorite dry shampoo?

BlowPro Faux Dry is the best I’ve ever used.

What do you do if someone comes in with a photo of a hairstyle they like, yet you know it won’t compliment their face shape?  

If it’s an established client, I usually know what they like and don’t like. For instance, if the new do has fringe around the face and I know they don’t like fringe, I’ll ask how they feel about it. Then I’ll modify it to fit the client. I never tell a person that a particular hairstyle won’t look good on them. I simply help find a way to make it fit.

Hairstylist trimming girl's hair

I’m not going anywhere, but what’s the best way to break up with your hairstylist?

Honesty is always the best policy. Don’t just disappear and then run from me when I see you in the grocery store or the gym.  I don’t get upset when people leave. I completely understand that sometimes the client and I are not a good fit.  

Be truthful and upfront. For instance, I’ve had clients call and tell me they’ve had to tighten their budget and wouldn’t be able to come in for a while. When I see them, they don’t act all awkward and stumble around like some people do when they just up and leave.

Be nice. You don’t have to say, “I hate the way you do my hair!” It’s perfectly fine to tell me that you want to try that new salon across town. When we end a relationship on a positive note, it’s easier to get back together in the future. Don’t burn bridges!

 What if someone wants to break up with her stylist and make an appointment with another stylist in the same salon – a do or a don’t?

It’s a do! We are not in competition at Allure!  When I have an initial consultation, I always tell the prospective client that if they don’t like the way I do their hair, they are welcome to try a different stylist in our salon. Sometimes a stylist and a client are just not a good fit and I completely understand.

Girl with brown hair having her hair washed at beauty salon

Thanks, Ashley, for taking the time to answer my questions and for being the best hairstylist ever!  

Now it’s your turn. Have you ever broken up with a hairstylist? How did it go?

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Robin Rue (@massholemommy) April 29, 2015 - 6:44 am

This was interesting to read. I had a stylist that I LOVED and then she just disappeared. I tried SOOOO Hard to find her, but she was gone. Then I found a replacement who was ok. Just ok. Now I finally found THE ONE and I made sure I got all her info so I could track her down if she ever goes to another salon. I have naturally curly hair and honestly, most stylists aren’t trained on how to cut curls. They are completely different and I have had way too many bad cuts because the stylist didn’t understand.

Alli April 29, 2015 - 1:01 pm

My BFF lives in midtown Atlanta and her stylist was actually in the same building as her condo. One day he just up and moved back to Savannah. He did leave a recommendation, but it wasn’t the same.

Ashley ~ 3 Little Greenwoods April 29, 2015 - 8:04 am

I had a stylist once that totally jacked my hair up! I have to admit I ran for the hills and hid from her in the grocery store. Thanks for the awesome perspective!

Who knew Lugoff had a fabulous salon?! 😉

Alli April 29, 2015 - 1:00 pm

I should have asked her if she’s ever had anyone that hated their hair and let her know about it. Yes, I totally get what you’re saying about Lugoff! 🙂

Natalie April 29, 2015 - 8:26 am

I’ve been going to the same hairstylist since I was 12! She’s always done an amazing job, and it’s been great to grow up with her. I’ve gone to other people when I was strapped for time and have even cut my hair a few times, but it’s never the same! 🙂

Alli April 29, 2015 - 12:58 pm

That is awesome that you’ve had the same stylist since 12!

Zan April 29, 2015 - 8:36 am

No.. I haven’t had to because I do not go to the salon as regularly as before. And in the past, I have had various ones because I moved to various places….

madaline April 29, 2015 - 8:46 am

Perfect read! I have the opposite issue though. I’ve never needed to break up with a stylist! I’m like a for life customer. However, this has been an issue when I move to Italy! I literally went like almost a year without a cut because I was too freaked out to try someone new! But then I did and loved her!

Alli April 29, 2015 - 12:57 pm

I did the same thing! When we first moved to SC from Tulsa I would wait until I was visiting Tulsa to get my hair cut because I didn’t know or trust anyone here. Finally I had to bite the bullet and go for it.

Krayl @ An Appealing Plan April 29, 2015 - 9:32 am

As usual you crack me up Alli! This is such a tough situation – especially if you like your salon. Great feedback!

Paris (My Big Fat Happy Life) April 29, 2015 - 9:35 am

Well I’ve done it twice. The first time I told the stylist that I was tight on funds – which was the truth but they had also moved locations and I didn’t care for the new location. The second one I told I was moving to the next town, which again was the truth. I ended up finding a stylist 5 minutes from my new house and have been using her for just over two years.

Alli April 29, 2015 - 12:54 pm

Sometimes I don’t think some salon owners think about their customers at all when they just up and move to a new location. Five minutes away is awesome!

Logan Can April 29, 2015 - 10:02 am

I’ll have to check out that dry shampoo for sure! Also, I do love the long bob look. I wish I could pull off a funky hairstyle.

Alli April 29, 2015 - 12:52 pm

My stylist says it’s her absolute favorite. I can’t pull off funky, either. 🙂

Stacie @ Divine Lifestyle April 29, 2015 - 10:23 am

Thank you so much for this! I’ve been wanting to break up with my stylist, but I didn’t know how. She’s such a sweetheart, but I’m just not happy with her work. It’s been more difficult than breaking up with some of my past boyfriends!

Alli April 29, 2015 - 12:51 pm

I hear you! It can be a hard thing to do.

lisa April 29, 2015 - 11:28 am

I have been very fortunate in the stylist department. I have never had to leave one! But finding a good stylist is such a process! I love my current stylist and she’s close to home!

Alli April 29, 2015 - 12:50 pm

When we first moved to SC I would go back to Tulsa for hair appointments, but finally I had to bite the bullet and find one here. I’m so glad I found Ashley.

Shirley Wood April 29, 2015 - 11:38 am

I followed my stylist to 3 different salons over the time of just a couple years. When she went to the 4th salon, I disappeared. My husband gets his hair cut at that salon and I have been with him and seen her. We speak politely but I’m not willing to continue to follow her all over the countryside. The salon she is in now has tiny little private rooms with up to 3 or 4 stylist in each. Those rooms make me feel claustrophobic too so I found a nice stylist closer to home.

Alli April 29, 2015 - 12:49 pm

I can understand how that would get really weird after a while – going from one salon to another. No way, no how. I like knowing that most stylists don’t take it personally.

Nancy @ Whispered Inspirations April 29, 2015 - 12:11 pm

I love this. I’ve had my stylist since 2005 but, prior to that had to break up with quite a few before I found her.

Alli April 29, 2015 - 12:47 pm

I’ve had mine for a while, too, yet I’ve always wondered how stylists reacted to breakups.

Travis April 29, 2015 - 1:00 pm

This is an interesting interview that I’m totally sharing with my life. I always love about reading about successful people from South Carolina, my adopted home!

Olivia Schwab April 29, 2015 - 1:34 pm

I broke up with my hair stylist a few years ago and it was super weird and awkward. These are great tips to actually do it!

NADEEN WHITE April 29, 2015 - 2:22 pm

This is funny! I just had this conversation with a friend of mine. She “broke up with her stylist” after 10 years but didnt let her know. She just stopped going and the stylist even texted her but she didnt text back! It is awkward but good to hear a stylist point of view!

Stephanie of The TipToe Fairy April 29, 2015 - 2:55 pm

This is great info! I have the opposite problem. I have a heck of a time finding someone I like. My hairstylist from years ago was wonderful, but he ran off to be a flight attendant.

CourtneyLynne April 29, 2015 - 3:38 pm

Hehehe I had to do this once and it totally sucked because my stylist was an awesome person… Just sucked at doing my hair….. I honestly think it was worse on me than her because when I finally did it, she didn’t take it that bad at all and I was the one a wreck lol

Jeanine April 29, 2015 - 5:46 pm

I wish I even had a hair stylist! Haha. I sadly, don’t. I usuallt do my own hair. Maybe one day. This was a great read though!

Lisa K April 29, 2015 - 8:51 pm

It’s so hard to be able to find a good hair stylist. Once I find someone I like, I tend to be pretty loyal!! I’ve had so many hair mishaps that it’s not even funny and my hair is kind of a pain because it’s so thick, so I like to stick with someone who knows about my hair’s texture. These tell all posts are great.

lisa @bitesforbabies April 29, 2015 - 8:54 pm

You read my mind, lol! I’ve been thinking about this for ages…not so much because he doesn’t do a good job, but more so just for a change!

Crystal Green April 29, 2015 - 11:24 pm

This was an interesting read for me. I wish Lugoff was closer to me. I’m from SC too. I need a good hair stylist!! I am trying to get my hair longer and thicker again. Thanks for asking those questions and sharing them.

Rosey April 30, 2015 - 9:28 am

I like that you help them fit the look they want to their face. That’s kind, actually. Not all hairdressers are so kind. 😉

Chubskulit Rose April 30, 2015 - 11:11 am

Eversince I moved here in the UNited States, I only went to the hair salon once, after that I learned how to cut my own hair.

Shaney Vijendranath April 30, 2015 - 12:31 pm

To be honest, I haven’t seen my stylist in ages. Ever since I fell pregnant, I never went. I’m too scared to dye my hair now but I could do with a trim. I don’t want to break up with her. 😉

Krysta April 30, 2015 - 1:01 pm

I currently love my stylist, who has the cutest little 1 person shop here in the jungle (literally) in Costa Rica. She is so great and easy to explain what I am looking for. With that being said though, I am also not super picky with my hair and usually just give a base description of what I want and then say… GO FOR IT! I bet it can be nerve-racking worrying if you are gonna screw up someone’s hair or not!

Lynndee April 30, 2015 - 1:20 pm

I’ve never broken up with my hairstylist and I don’t think it’s ever going to happen because I’m more than satisfied with how she cuts my hair.

Jacqui April 30, 2015 - 2:03 pm

I have not. My husband and I usually use the same one, but if she’s not available when I need it I see someone else in her salon. It has never been a problem.

Roselynn April 30, 2015 - 5:48 pm

I have never had to break up with a hairstylist but that’s because I have never had one for a long period of time. My hair is in terrible condition though so I need some assistance with it.

Carolann April 30, 2015 - 6:52 pm

What an insightful interview. I love her attitude and her hair! I had to break up a few times myself…it was awkward, but I got to a new stylist that was perfect for me!

Bonnie @ wemake7 April 30, 2015 - 8:39 pm

What a great post and very informative. I don’t got to the Salon as much as I should and always go different places.

Ann Bacciaglia April 30, 2015 - 10:40 pm

I do not have a regular stylist that cuts my hair. My Mom has been going to the same guy for as long as i can remember. I can see how it would be hard to leave someone you are so used to.

HilLesha May 1, 2015 - 10:11 am

I broke up with one over the summer, because it seem like she was too scissor happy. Sadly, that seems like the case with a lot of stylists.

Cara (@StylishGeek) May 1, 2015 - 2:16 pm

Thank you for your tips! I have to admit that I had a bad experience with a favored stylist many years ago. He just became cocky and did not care about my opinion on what my style should be. I was polite the whole time, hoping that the cut he did would satisfy me. It was okay, nothing too great. I just did not come back anymore.

Krystal May 1, 2015 - 4:52 pm

I wish I could find a good hairstylist! I need to get a hair cut and never know where to go!

Manu Kalia May 1, 2015 - 11:46 pm

I often see my wife doing her own hair, I will surely share this to her, she just love hairstyle tricks and tips.

Debi May 3, 2015 - 11:56 am

I have been looking for a good dry shampoo but have never found one I liked. I am looking forward to try her suggestion. I don’t have a hair stylist that I use often to give me advice.

Jennie @TheHousewifeModern May 4, 2015 - 12:51 am

I would have never thought of this as a blog topic…but when I saw the title I had to click.
Honestly, we’re military, so we move every three years. And I have to go through the process of finding stylist. And the horrible situation: I don’t really like the first one, do I call back to the same salon and request someone else?
I mean, if it’s the first time I’ve seen them, do I really need to “break up with them?” It’s more of a how to act after an awkward first date…haha.
Anyway, great post and glad to hear a stylist would rather someone come back to the salon than find a new one!

Alli May 8, 2015 - 9:44 am

I was shocked when my stylist said it was a do to use another stylist in the same salon. Of course, Ashley is so sweet, I don’t think she would ever get offended. I pray she never stops being a stylist. It would be so hard to start over. Maybe someone needs to create an online dating sites for clients and stylists. 🙂

Kristen from The Road to Domestication May 5, 2015 - 11:23 am

I have left one stylist before…but it was only because I could never keep an appointment LOL I think she was glad to see me not come back 🙂 I still see her often, though. My current stylist has become one of my best friends, so I’m definitely not going anywhere! Thanks so much for taking the time to link up with us over at the #HomeMattersParty – we hope to see you again this Friday! Feel free to bring a friend 🙂

Johnny Shi May 5, 2015 - 4:14 pm

I think breaking up with your hair dresser can be an awkward thing. It makes sense that you would want an honest answer. I think that is the best way to avoid hurt feelings anyway. Thanks for sharing.

Alli May 8, 2015 - 9:26 am

I had always wanted to hear how a stylist felt about a breakup and I was impressed with Ashley’s thoughts on a breakup.

Erica @ Coming Up Roses May 7, 2015 - 3:11 pm

Now I must try this dry shampoo! I’ve been on the hunt for the perfect one for forever now, but I’ve yet to try Blow Pro Faux…my hopes are now high!

Alli May 8, 2015 - 8:58 am

My hair stylist says it’s THE best ever! I need to try it, too.

McKenzie March 27, 2017 - 5:48 pm

It’s a good thing I have never had to break up with my stylist because she’s my family member, and I sure don’t know how I would do it if I had to! Thanks for sharing this!


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